Angelina Breeds

Here's hoping pregnancy will make her right boob bigger so Angelina has breasts that are the same size.

Here's wishing her morning sickness and an extra 75 pounds she will never be able to lose.

Here's praying that the spawn of Brangelina will not end up all fucked up because it's mom is a slut who broke up Hollywood's golden couple and it's dad is a mindless tool.

So you've probably heard the news by now, it has been official for at least 6 hours now, that Angelina Jolie is pregnant with Brad Pitt's bastard child. (we here at Gossipvine feel a need to point out every bastard child in America... it's our moral duty)

What you don't know is that unlike popular oppinion, Brangelina's bastard child will be the ugliest child in the world, and by world we mean even uglier than the two Barfugly one's they have now... I mean have you seen that little dark baby, no way in hell is that kid going to be remotely good looking, throw in being raised by Joan Crawford, uh, Angelina Jolie...

OK, remember the hottest girl in High School, yeah, she was hot huh? Now remember when you first saw her mother and father and you thought a.) oh please Lord don't let her look like that one day and b.) how the hell did those mutants make such a good looking kid?

We here at Grapevine have a DNA and Gene Therapy Specalist on staff, Dr. Anita Mandalay tells us the the genetic code of both "beautiful" people will most likely morph into some sort of mutant looking spawn. Dr. Mandalay goes on to inform us that the child most likely will look like Richard Simmons if her predictions are right.

Here's hoppin' it's a girl, Britney Spear's son TaterTot has to get herpes from someone in 15 years...